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"There'll Be Trouble, All Right​!​"

by The Luddites

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Meet at the dumb steeple near on midnight... if you know a lad you can trust, bring him to the St. Crispin Inn and Old John Baines'll see he's "twisted-in." Cartwright's Mill is armed to the teeth, rumor has it. There'll be trouble, all right!


released December 31, 1995


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The Luddites Ferndale, Michigan

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Track Name: Real Big Hair
Late night Punch & Judy
You stole an aisle chair
You were so stationary
You and your real big hair
Real Big Hair

I pelted all my snow caps
Stuck deep inside your doo
You didn’t feel a thing
I want to marry you, and your
Real Big Hair

I could never leave you, dear
Not with all that Real Big Hair
You’re no good for me I know
But your hair’s so manageable

Cuz I know I shouldn’t love you
I know I shouldn’t care
But you’re so accessible
You and your real big hair
Real Big Hair
Track Name: Beret
Do you like my beret?
I got it just the other day
from some kind passerby
Who never looked me in the eyes
It brings me joy
I suppose like it would you
A new Cadillac,
A wood deck out back,
A new Armani suit,
Do you like my beret?

Would you like me to dance?
Or sing a song please give me a chance
To make a decent and honest living,
I’ll take whatever you find yourself, giving
To entertain.
I’ve seen you too…
down on your knees making money
They keep you running
Through fire-burning hoops
Do you like my beret?

Do you like my green eyes?
They are the doors which will lead you to my thighs
But it will cost you,
As it must cost me my dignity
My babies got to eat
So like you I cling to a man, modern slavery
My men wont marry me

Well, at least I’m not kept around the clock like you
Do you like my beret?

Take a look, take a good look
Take a look, take a real good look
I’ve got a mirror,
You too could be here
Track Name: Voodoo Love
Day by Day she was fashioning a fetish
A lock of hair and some fingernail clippings
The eye of a newt and some magic herbs
A voodoo doll to make him love her

Down in the quarter you can always find him
Soaking up some local color
Soaking up some fine wine
Eating beignets in a Sunday suit
A carriage ride around the church
A Mississippi brute,
Who do Voodoo Love?

Night by night you can find him in the bayou
Cutting off a chickens foot dancing in the moonlight
Goat-ham’s powder for the right occasion
Day by day her resistance was fading
She ground the chicory and put it in her coffee
Working at the counter of Pappa Joe’s dance hall
Jazz band played all through the night
Momma what a handsome girl
Papa what a sight
Who do Voodoo Love?

Sit down, girl, hear the secret of your family
That was your momma, that was your daddy
Those voodoo spells are working “right as rain”
Cuz we’re twice as much in love as we might have been
Who do Voodoo Love?
Track Name: Nevis
The moon lights up the village
Like a spotlight on a fish
And I’m smelling the rum in my coffee
As I bring it to my lips
The sugarcane train is late again
So the teenage-men must wait
To sample the sweet reed of paradise
Down at the crossing gate

This is where I will go,
When I’m through with chasing my life
This is where I will go,
To make it simple, to make it right

My rooster crows all through the night
But that’s not part of his charm
Like Vanessa’s garage that converts to bar
Where I’m swaying under the stars

This is where I will go,
When I’m through with chasing my life
This is where I will go,
Gonna make it simple, to make it right
Track Name: My Ex
We’ve been seeing each other almost a year,
And it’s been so hunky-dory hanging out drinking beer,
Oh, the suds have helped me somewhat
Made your face a fuzzy blur
But with a cup of joe at sun-up and your mug makes me a-hurl

Pardon me, my dear, I cannot bring you to bed
Would you mind so terribly so put this bag on your head
Not a case of beer, not a bottle of wine
Can make me change my mind
I just cant seem to engage in sex
With someone who looks like my ex

Sorry that it gets so hard for me to light this flame
It’s just a simple habit that I always scream his name
And every time I kiss you it’s a gruesome déjà vu
I slip down memory lane again, I want to choke you

Pardon me, my dear, I cannot bring you to bed
Would you mind so terribly so put this bag on your head
Not a case of beer, not a bottle of wine
Can make me change my mind
I just cant seem to engage in sex
With someone who looks like my ex

I really do like you, I want to excite you
But there’s just this one thing in the way,
I just cant seem to engage in sex
With someone who looks like my ex
Track Name: Sunday Afternoon
It’s Sunday Afternoon,
I watch the day pass before me
Through the window of my bedroom
Through the nothingness of glass
The day creeps on and lies there
Molten steel without a path
It’s Sunday Afternoon
I think I’ll take a nap

It’s raining in my dreams
An old woman reads my frontage
I’m a snapshot of her younger days
I’m a memory of her pain
We both have lost our voices
To a world of passing trains
It’s Sunday Afternoon

Sunday Afternoon
And no one knows I’m there
So I scream to the room
Sunday Afternoon
And no one seems to care, Or mind
Track Name: Pets Or Meat?
I got a dog his name is Rover,
He came with papers
I can prove he’s a pedigree,
He can bark in Japanese

He’s sitting in my backyard,
With my powerboat and car

Oh, he’s my best friend
He stands faithfully on a chain
Yeah, he’s my best friend
And he waits for me patiently in a pen
My best friend

I got a toucan she’s so exotic,
She’s from the jungle
I saved her from the nasty beasts
and put her in a cage

Don’t know where she learned to say:
“Kiss my ass, I hope you die”

And she’s my best friend
She waits for me patiently in a cage
Yeah, shes my best friend
Oh, I love when she regurgitates my name
My best friend
Track Name: Lucy And The Dervish
Turkish jazz at the Twilight Bar
Indonesian cigarette burns to far
In an unattended ashtray at the end of the bar
Where a man named Mustapha waves his hands in the air
And whirls like a dervish to the music of spheres

Lucy sits with her purse in her lap
Travelers cheques, feminine naps
A hashish bar and a Pepsi can
Her eyes transfix on the whirling man
His pants billow slightly as the breeze cleans the smoke
His hands touch the ceiling as his toes leave the floor
She wonders why she didn’t buy the package tour

These things happen here on the trip to the Orient
These things happen, dear, on the trip to the Orient

Lucy sings at the Twilight Bar On a Persian rug and strums the guitar
While here husband, Mustapha Sullyman Ozbican
Plays the ney all day for the ottoman
And their children dance to adoring fans
Track Name: 30 Years
Thirty Years and I’ve got nothing to show for it
A bank account with moss growing in it
High hopes flew just a little high
The king of bees that’s what they call me
An imbecile with no sense of history
Self-esteem ran a little low

It’s too hard for me boys,
I’m too tired today
Why put off tomorrow
What you can put off today?

Procrastination is my name

Water and wine late last night
When God called from his satellite
With a job that none of the angels want

The patron saint of underachievers
The under loved and unbelievers
I signed on the dotted line

It’s too hard for me boys,
I’m too tired today
Why seek employment?
When you can sleep in today

Procrastination is my name

I sacrificed, worked to achieve
Now they’ve nailed me to a tree, well
Things got a little out of hand
Martyrs, sinners, saints, and fools,
I’d commend myself to you
But I’m late for my own funeral

I’ll go back to school boys
A graduate degree
Me and David Turner
In school for eternity

Procrastination is my shame
Track Name: Brementown
In the Belgian town of Ghent in 1309
To strike a certain chord
Was a serious crime
But they weren’t listening then
And you’re not listening now
I’m still holding on

There’s a lady I know
Who thinks all that glitters is gold
And a musical note brought down Jericho
And I’ve tried to fill this town
With a similar sound
I’m still holding on

This might as well be a sick pantomime
Where the marionettes sing and play their guitars
And their friendship I feel is worse than any crime
I’m still holding on

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